Friday, May 21, 2004
Romantic & Unromantic

Here are the winning entries from a competition for writing the most romantic first line and most unromantic second line...

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty,
& so is your head.

After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between the eyes.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face,
I wish I were in outer space.

I saw your face as you walked by
But then I saw a better guy.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

Beauty is on the inside,
but some may doubt,
If it's true,
I'd prefer you inside out.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

I see your face
when I am dreaming
That's why I always
wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in
to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to Hell."



Posted at 05:30 pm by gets
Scribbled(6)  

Monday, May 17, 2004
EXAM BLUES!

Well the '!@#$%^&' exams are here again from may17th to june5th...which means stricktly no blogging for me else my parents will make my heartbeat "______" (dead).Wait...I can hear someone coming...shhhh....My small sneaky brother!!!!!!!!(who obviously is on my mom's side...always).so that's it for me i suppose...until june the 5th.so...bye.but if i get a chance (which i mostly will)...I'll visit ur site and comment *evil grin*

Posted at 06:13 pm by gets
Scribbled(1)  

Saturday, May 01, 2004
Lessons in management

Lesson-1


A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small Rabbit saw the crow and asked him," Can I also sit like u and do nothing day long"
The crow answered:"Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a sly fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:-
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,very high up.

Lesson-2


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, it reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon a farmer spotted it and promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:-
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson-3


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in a pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! he lay there all warm and happy,and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. On seeing the bird under cowdung it dug the bird out and ate it!
Moral of the story:-
1.)Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. 2.)Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3.)When you're in deep shit keep your mouth shut. 4.)In life everything teaches us something-even shit!

Posted at 07:46 pm by gets
Scribbled(14)  

Saturday, April 24, 2004
WEIRD?-BELIEVE IT!

I recieved this as a forward message!

>Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
>
>Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
>John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
>
>Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
>John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
>
>Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
>Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
>
>Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
>Both Presidents were shot in the head.
>
>Now it gets really weird.
>
>
>Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
>Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
>
>
>
>Both were assassinated by Southerners.
>
>Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
>
>Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
>Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
>
>
>
>John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee
>Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
>
>
>
>Both assassins were known by their three names.
>
>Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
>
>
>
>Now hang on to your seat.
>
>Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
>Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
>
>Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a
>warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and
>hid in a theater
>
>
>
>Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
>
>And here's the kicker.......
>
>
>
>A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
>A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe..
>
>
>
>
>
>Creepy huh?

Posted at 10:03 pm by gets
Scribbled(15)  

Sunday, April 18, 2004
Indian or NOT!

One of the biggest problems in my life is IDENTITY. I have lived in South India from the time I was born and through out pre-schooling...schooling....higher secondary...college this is how 1 particular question takes the same old route...
F- Friend F2,F3,F4..- Other friends M- Me
F: What is ur native place?
M: What do u mean by native place?
F: U know...your native place da...Where were u born?
M: Coimbatore.
F: No da.. I mean your original place da..try to understand!
M: My mom's from Secunderabad, Dad's from Mumbai...
F: And You are from Coimbatore....hahahhaha...
M: What? Why are u laughing? What's so funny? Now U choose ur meaning for my native
place from any of these 3 places OK?
F: *Still laughing*(LIke a donkey..)
M: What?
F: *takes a different approach* What is ur RELIGION?
M: *bored* Hinduism.
F: OHHHHh! Hindu ahhhh.... Ok what in hindu?
M: Caste?-I am a sindhi.
Sudden appearance...
F2: What?
F3: Hindi!!
F4: Sindhi?
F: What's Sindhi?

M: YEAH!- I am a SINDHI. You don't know Sindhi? * Do you'll know readers?*
F: No!
I look at friends for support-NO Support -only blank look..
M: In hinduism there r many err.. branches u know..and sindhi is one of them. OK?
F: *Shoots questions at me* Where are sindhis from?
M: SIND!
F: Where is Sind?
M:*laughing like a maniac who has lost everything*In ur neighbour's shirt pocket wrapped with foil paper.
F: WHAT!!!!!?
M: *Breathing out slowly for 10.34132637 seconds..* Sind is in Pakistan.
F: *Takes in deep shocking breath like as if i am a terrorist* YOU ARE A PAKISTANI !!!
M: *Tired & patient slowly answering...* N O. I am A pakka - pure INDIAN.
F: * Telling evryone..* DAI HE PAKISTANI...
M: ???????
F: *showing fist like skeleton who knows kick-boxing* How U came to india?
M: SHUT-UP! YOu don't even know the national anthem and u're talking...
First PAkistan was part of India. My great great great.. grandpas lived there in Sind/mohenjodaro/harappa..(WHich is now the oldest civilization in this world). Anyways..
Some fight took place in congress party just after independence and a group of people decided to have a separate country for muslims and then our Bharat got divided into Hindustan and Pakistan(Stan means 'place' and is pronounced as sthan). Then 10 to 20 idiotic leading council(the remaining 20,00,000 being clever) of muslims in pakistan gave ultimatum 'leave pakistan within so-and-so days'. Meanwhile our Gandhi said "who wants to stay can stay blah..blah..blah..". That's it--> I was an Indian,am an indian,will be an indian...
so my forefathers decided that they belong to the main land only and they left!
F: why did they leave?
M: Because when those 20 to 40 fools who were deciding where the muslims must stay laid their eyes on pakistan area and gujurais were given GUJURAT, tamilians..TAMILNADU, Bengalis were given BENGAL..and so on...
F: Why were sindhis not given sind?
M: Because they were idiots. they liked the most ancient civilization-its drainage,etc..a lot and besides they knew Sindis are like OAk trees -->- robust,courageous,strong,unrelenting,independent,sensible,does not love changes,keeps feet on ground,person of action... What I wonder is..................... why did all this unnecessary stuff happen?
F: Ohhh! Ya da u're right. ok bye..
M: then listen!..now that u have made me start.....when all sindhis decided to leave pakistan some idiotic indians fought a great cowardly fight on weaponless innocent muslims here killing many of them as they jumped on trains....same way as monkey copies man....the pakistanis came and fought against us weaponless innocent sindhis (who were their good neighbours one day and the next day...hell on earth...for us they killed 10 times more number of sindhis.)*what r we?* *Vegetables?*.
F: *does not know what to do**blank look*
M: *staring into space with blank look*
F: ?
M: then our grandpas came here scared as small kids or may be at age of 20ish.. and they worked hard and made india 1000 times better than pakistan.

NOTE: You will never find a sindhi beggar anywhere!!
F: ohhh... superb da...
M: *modest* what?
F: But still da...
M: what now?
F: U r still a pakistani know?
M: *cursing-banging-breaking (my head) *
F: *laughing*
M: * looking at him* *me too..laughing*

WHAT???
OK??
 ....... THE END..... 


Posted at 03:00 pm by gets
Scribbled(7)  

Sunday, April 11, 2004
A silly letter

I was going through my school magazine when i came across this:

Dear Gurmeet,

I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn't have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, so that our address plate will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 4 days and second time it rained for 3 days.

The coat you wanted !! me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took bahu(daughter-in-law) to our club's poolside. The manager is badmash(evil). He told her 2 piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove ?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for 3 days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his fathers last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.


Love
Mom.

P.S : Beta(son), I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized I had sealed the envelope.

Posted at 01:32 pm by gets
Scribbled(5)  

Saturday, April 10, 2004
FOCUS

Difference between 'Focus on problems' and 'Focus on solutions'.

This is really simple and interesting. Very often we get carried away in problem solving. Keep it simple and move on.

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity. In order to solve this problem, they hired Anderson Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade an 12 million dollars. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, under water, on practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

The Russians used a pencil. |

Posted at 09:59 pm by gets
Scribbled(4)  



My blog is simple & u will mostly be able to find facts-figures-wisdom??-stuff-biography etc... on my site. So...

WELCOME TO MY SITE.
By the way..
My name's SURAJ




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